Live

Like the other 89.8% of America I have been working alot lately. I have been in the middle of opening up a new store as well as working at the ICU's of several hospitals. It has been a unique moment in my life with the range of things I am involved in. In addition to my jobs I am interviewing for graduate schools and dating a wonderfully amazing girl (going on 14 months).

I am inclined to ponder on frequent occasion of the diversity and timing of our lives opportunities. Does there ever seem to be a pattern or reason for the sequence of events that we experience? What do you think? Now by asking that I definitely mean after the preset system of our youth where we are sheparded from one school to another, then on to work or college. That seems to be a somewhat artificial time where we are living within the expectations set out for us. I am asking about the 'post-college', now I am an adult and can work if and when I want to time.

I think that now life really can be an assortment of moments which, if we allow to pass by us uncollected and relatively unused, can seem to be meaningless or randomized. I propose that our life experiences are really only opportunities for us to create our own world. We see things come around and due to laziness or fear or a multitude of other inhibitions, balk, stammer, and watch it pass. Like Thomas Edison said "Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work."

Take every chance that comes by because that is just what is will be, a chance to make your world a brighter place; a chance to improve your position; a chance to change the lives of those around you. Never let fear rule your decisions, instead go forward with courage and a resolute determination to make the world bend to your will. Failure will not be your end nor your fame for the only failure is the chance not explored. Your greatest successes come from living and seizing the moment. Live.

LDS Temples

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-x_-TQivCx8

In response to the recent uproar about the insensitive planned broadcasting by HBO of Big Love the LDS church has released this video about the sacred history of temples and how Latter Day Saints revere and uphold this ancient practice.
This video, which has been around for many years, gives a brief view into the sacred temple practice for all Latter Day Saints. It is unfortunate that such a precious thing to so many people is not treated with respect by the producers of this show.
The show, by the way, had promised the LDS Church to maintain the fact that the characters in it were not affiliated with the church. However, now they are more and more incroaching on the missrepresentation of church members in the show. Please enjoy this video as much as I did.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-x_-TQivCx8

Don't Stress Now!

I am back! It’s been too long, many events happening since last. It must have been that I have been traveling so much (wishful thinking). Now that I am back I promise you (with my fingers crossed) to never have such a gap again. If you were to read my journal you could find many such promises and regretful comments about how long between entries it has been.

My thoughts today are toward a subject which weighs on our decisions and capacity for happiness. As of recent events (and a discussion with very wise friends) I have been able to place into words a feeling hard to describe. Well let me just paint the abstract picture for you.

Going through life we have many highs and lows, loves and hatreds, wins and losses. Only when we magnify a period of life, looking only at a short era do things ever appear stagnant or immutable. Just as we are insensitive to the centripetal acceleration from the earth’s spinning, so are we voluntarily blind to how our lives are in a waltz in and out of trial and probation. Naturally we look forward to some great break from tribulation; how tomorrow I am going to be happy later is going to be so great. This helps us through the tough times and is the visualization of hope, which if we have it not we are nothing.

My subject is with the exception to this common experience, the person who is more sensitive to the subtle changes of life. We probably all know someone like this. This individual keeps their abilities on such a short leash that they know at all times what they are comfortable with. They plan ahead to know what is within the scope of comfort so they will recognize immediately when something is ‘outside the boundaries’ and they can exclude themselves so they feel in control. The rules they live by restrict them to living a full life as defined by society but support the ‘safe’ feeling that they so crave at the core. Ironically the box they have built around themselves to protect is despised by the very builder. Even though you got yourself there you want out.

You want to be able to feel the sunshine that is there for all the kids playing in the park outside the box. You see the luscious green grass and want to lie down, roll in it, feel the textures of the outside world and experience all the joy, happiness and moments of peace that come from living life to the fullest. See the vista from the highest mountain, feel the prairie breeze against the face and the mist from the surf. Know the experience of falling in love, twice, and falling out of it at least once. Experience falling and seeing your flaw, get up, clean off, and set off again at full speed till you encounter another failing and learn again. There is so much to do and see and feel and express, but the box.

If every day is a challenge, what happens when the difficulty comes? Our emotional reserve has been expended on the easy stuff and we have nothing left for the gargantuan challenge standing in our way. What then? If we are always looking (and worrying) about the pebbles beneath our feet how will the mountain ever be possible? It is vital to build an emotional reserve during those moments in the eternity that we have lesser trials. That means that we develop the ability to be a generally healthy and happy person so we have momentum heading into the burdensome stretch that does and always will come.

My Uncle was like me when young, energetic and wild at times, truly a good kid. He was playing one time and ran through a glass door, shattering the door and needing some stitches on his face as a result. Anyone who knows about boys knows that these things happen and must be taken with a grain of salt. My grandmother however blew it up from the moment he came home, telling him that he was going to have a scar and how it looked terrible. This kept on after he got the stitches out, she would always say that it looked so bad and maybe they ought to go to a plastic surgeon to fix it. Almost half a century later she still comments on it, how it is noticeable and how it is awful that he got the scar. The damage done to my Uncles confidence is another subject but he has always thought, because of my dear grandmothers comments, the scar was the only thing that people ever see when they look in his face. When he came home that first time if my grandmother would have said “Aww, that’s not so bad, no one will even notice a thing” decades of hurt and shame would have been avoided, basically making a big deal out of things that aren’t make life difficult. We all need to work at maintaining a healthy ability to ‘not sweat the small stuff’; it’ll all be alright in the end.

Live life, don’t hold back. We only pass this way once anyway so why restrain in seeking after the desirable and praiseworthy things that life has to offer? Shower in a waterfall (in the summer, not now, it’ll kill you), take road trips, go running, kiss. Learn to love challenges cause that is what you should be ready for anyway.

Marriage

Since marriage was originally a religius union, recognized and honored by secular governing bodies I will discuss the issue with faith as the background. I will also expound upon some of the social and familial cirumstances that this subject has effect. Although I have cited some factual sources for statistics and quotes some of the outlined material can be found in a news release on lds.org. I belive that in a logical discussion marriage must remain defined as it has traditionally.

Marriage is sacred, ordained of God from before the foundation of the world. After creating Adam and Eve, the Lord God pronounced them husband and wife, of which Adam said, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24) Jesus Christ cited Adam’s declaration when he affirmed the divine origins of the marriage covenant: “Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh.” (Matt 19: 4-6)

Marriage between a man and a woman is central to God's plan for us. The sacred nature of marriage is closely linked to the power of procreation. Only a man and a woman together have the natural biological capacity to conceive children. This power of procreation – to create life and bring children into the world – is sacred and precious. Misuse of this power undermines the institution of the family and thereby weakens the social fabric. (Ballard) Strong families serve as the fundamental institution for passing on to future generations the moral strengths, traditions, and values that sustain civilization. As the Universal Declaration of Human Rights affirms, “The family is the natural and fundamental group unit of society.”(United Nations, “Universal Declaration of Human Rights,” General Assembly Resolution 217 A (III), 10 December 1948)

Our modern era has seen the degredation of traditional marriage and family – defined as a husband and wife with children in an intact marriage. Sexual morality has declined and infidelity has increased. Since 1960, the proportion of children born out of wedlock has soared from 5.3 percent to 38.5 percent (2006). (National Vital Statistics Report) Divorce has become much more common and accepted, with the United States having one of the highest divorce rates in the world. Since 1973, abortion has taken the lives of over 45 million innocents.(Alan Guttmacher Institute) At the same time, entertainment standards continue to plummet, and pornography has become a scourge afflicting and addicting many victims. Gender differences increasingly are dismissed as trivial, irrelevant, or transient, thus undermining God’s purpose in creating both men and women. Gender is one of the most important characteristics that is given to us from birth and must be cherished as such. It is ignorance to disregard and belittle the gifts of uniqueness that gender bestows upon mankind and harmful.

Those who favor homosexual marriage contend that “tolerance” demands that they be given the same right to marry as heterosexual couples. But this appeal for “tolerance” advocates a very different meaning and outcome than that word has meant throughout most of American history. The Savior taught a much higher concept, that of love. “Love thy neighbor,” He admonished.(Matt 19:19) Jesus loved the sinner even while decrying the sin, as evidenced in the case of the woman taken in adultery: treating her kindly, but exhorting her to “sin no more.” (John 8:11) Tolerance as a principle means love and forgiveness of one another, not “tolerating” transgression. Any other definition is manipulation of terminology that is easily used to imbue guilt and emotional responses.

As I look out the window of the library where I am typing I see the mountains and it lends to thinking that just because the mountains stand majestic and dignified as defining characteristics they do not take away from the lakes which lie at their feet. The lake cannot and should not force the mountain to become like the lake and vica versa. Each can have respect for what they are individually but cannot be made the same. Draw the analagy yourself.

In today’s secular world, the idea of tolerance has come to mean something entirely different. Instead of love, it has come to mean condone – acceptance of wrongful behavior as the price of friendship. We can love and care for one another without condoning transgression. But today’s politically palatable definition insists that unless one accepts the sin he does not tolerate the sinner.

"Tolerance obviously requires a non-contentious manner of relating toward one another’s differences. But tolerance does not require abandoning one’s standards or one’s opinions on political or public policy choices. Tolerance is a way of reacting to diversity, not a command to insulate it from examination."(Oaks)

I do not condone abusive treatment of others or encourage anything but treating all people with respect. However, speaking out against practices with which I disagree on moral grounds – including same-sex marriage – does not constitute abuse or the frequently misused term “hate speech.” All of us can express genuine love and friendship for the homosexual family member or friend without accepting the practice of homosexuality or any re-definition of marriage.

Legalizing same-sex marriage will affect a wide spectrum of government activities and policies that are largely unmentioned and unknown to the casual observer. It was these types of realities that solidified my understanding for the need of defining marriage. I am open and welcome to different lifestyles but the implications upon society is unacceptable when encroaching upon the institution of marriage.

Once a state government declares that same-sex unions are a civil right, those governments almost certainly will enforce a wide variety of other policies intended to ensure that there is no discrimination against same-sex couples. This may well place “church and state on a collision course.” (Gallagher, 2006)

The prospect of same-sex marriage has already spawned legal collisions with the rights of free speech and of action based on religious beliefs. For example, advocates and government officials in certain states already are challenging the long-held right of religious adoption agencies to follow their religious beliefs and only place children in homes with both a mother and a father. As a result, Catholic Charities in Boston has stopped offering adoption services.

Other advocates of same-sex marriage are suggesting that tax exemptions and benefits be withdrawn from any religious organization that does not embrace same-sex unions. (Turley, 2008) Public accommodation laws are already being used as leverage in an attempt to force religious organizations to allow marriage celebrations or receptions in religious facilities that are otherwise open to the public. Accrediting organizations in some instances are asserting pressure on religious schools and universities to provide married housing for same-sex couples. Student religious organizations are being told by some universities that they may lose their campus recognition and benefits if they exclude same-sex couples from club membership.(Stern 2006)
If same-sex marriage becomes a recognized civil right, there will be substantial conflicts with religious freedom. And in some important areas, religious freedom may be diminished to say nothing of the implications upon education of children and the society as a whole. When they say they are being discriminated against the solution cannot be one which forces this kind of acceptance into religion, school and very effectively into homes. Religious and societal freedom must be protected in the solution to this problem. Encroachment into these realms hold much more danger to the nation and personal liberty than currently in existence.

As just one example of how children will be adversely affected, the establishment of same-sex marriage as a civil right will inevitably require mandatory changes in school curricula. When the state says that same-sex unions are equivalent to heterosexual marriages, the curriculum of public schools will have to support this claim. Beginning in elementary school, children will be taught that marriage can be defined as a relation between any two adults and that consensual sexual relations are morally neutral. Classroom instruction on sex education in secondary schools can be expected to equate homosexual intimacy with heterosexual relations. This will have a destructive influence to the gender discussion earlier. These developments will also create serious clashes between the agenda of the secular school system and the right of parents to teach their children traditional standards of morality.

Strong, stable families, headed by a father and mother, are the anchor of civilized society. When marriage is undermined by gender confusion and by distortions of its God-given meaning, the rising generation of children and youth will find it increasingly difficult to develop their natural identity as a man or a woman. Some will find it more difficult to engage in wholesome courtships, form stable marriages, and raise yet another generation imbued with moral strength and purpose.

Yes to Proposition 8

The heat is up on the vote in California for Proposition 8 which would reestablish the traditional organization of marriage as between husband and wife. After long thought I throw my towel in support of the proposition as much as a non-cali resident can. Over the next several days I will blog about the subject and give my reasoning which clearly will explain why this document is really the right thing to pass.
Marriage is between a man and a woman. We must support this priceless organization at all costs as the foundation of a stable society. It is a sacred union that was created and defined by God himself.
Such a stance is not discriminatory or harsh. It does not take away rights from anyone or deny anyone of their right to choose. It does neither of these things the same as calling an apple an apple does not take the right of an orange to be an orange. Although there has been a steady degredation of the union of marriage over the last several decades we cannot permit clever words and manipulative arguments alter what is true. Marriage is between a man and a woman.

Dating

Dating has been on my mind lately so I decided to share a paper I once wrote, simply because it is from the heart. Dating has brought many fun and scary experiences hopefully on the path to marriage. I hope you enjoy these thoughts:

“So have a good night.” I said to her as I left her at her apartment door. I walked away in amazement. What a waste of three hours of my life. Not only had my brother set me up with one of the most immature girls I ever met, but halfway through dinner while talking away, she paused, looked up and started gnashing her teeth in the air! As I looked at her, incredulous with wonder at these unprovoked antics over the dinner table, she stopped, giggled and said “I’m so silly!” I seriously considered discussing with her at that point the difference between silly and shockingly disturbing but decided it would only prolong this everlastingly long date. Why do I subject myself to this over and over? It seems that these aimless searches in the dark for a kindred spirit who can hold a meaningful lasting interest for me are only speeding my loss of faith in the opposite sex. I do have faith in how dating should be. This ideal date does not always occur for various reasons, however, there are things that can help minimize failed dates.
My philosophy on dating has been shaped through many personal experiences and observations of others in their dating pursuits. A date is a time which should be fun, so even if you find you have little interest in your partner, you will still enjoy yourself. This makes all dates something to look forward to. Next a date must be a time where you are interested in learning more about the person you are with. This interest should be sincere and based on an honest admiration for the other person. Lastly a date must be planned appropriately to avoid awkward dead time.
Many times this perfect scenario for a date does not occur. Dates are avoided at times because fear of rejection is a natural response. Avoiding pain may be the most basic of instincts and when seeking a date, vulnerability is germane to the situation. This fear of vulnerability will keep an invitation from ever being extended at all for a date. I know this has influenced my dating choices many times.
Many times people on a date have a preconceived notion of what will impress the other person and this becomes the motivation for the date plan. This usually turns into a tension filled, less fun date for both involved. Regardless of the events, if the plan for a date is poorly assembled the night frequently becomes dragged out and tedious.
The fear of these awkward situations can cause people to avoid dating at all costs. Bad experiences can cause a person to become gun-shy when possibilities for dating come along. It becomes easier to become engrossed in studies, work and family or roommates than face the dating monster.
Other excuses come from the complaint that invitations to date never come. Usually this comes from girls since they are traditionally less involved in dating invitations. I believe strongly that the girls with this problem are usually not placing themselves in situations where they will get asked out. Obviously sitting at home with your roommates behind a closed door watching “Friends” will decrease your interactions with potential courtiers. Those girls who choose to instead go to dances, parties, clubs, church functions and other activities will tend to be asked out more frequently due to their increased interactions with date minded men.
I submit that dating may become pointless to some who are not motivated by marriage. To these people they do not have the perspective to see long term purpose in true dating activities. Men will tend to have this trait with less desire to date. This can cause a discrepancy in what men and women expect in a dating relationship.
While dating we should seek to enjoy the difference in personality and experience of the other. While we are seeking to know if we enjoy the qualities of our date, it must be remembered that it is just a date. Dates are not marriage, kids, retirement, or the job interview. We must not place an overwhelming amount of pressure on one date to determine if we should marry the person. This unnecessary pressure is the cause of many lost friendships and potential relationships.
Dating is a complex and meaningful event. A date can be the highlight or the horror story of our week. We should remember to walk the middle line in our dating activities; not too much pressure, be sincere, be friendly, not too strict a schedule, plan, and most importantly have fun. Doing this makes dating fun and a meaningful time to learn about another person.

Perfect Day

Today I woke up early and knelt gently to offer thanks for the day softly streaming through the window. It was nice to have this moment of peace and receive light from above. Next I walked over to the balcony and stretched in the morning rays and pondered for five minutes on how nature was spread before me. Birds sang, welcoming the new day from their perch in the green broadleaf trees that are the forest behind my apartment. I placed some eggs in water and started them heating on the stove while I went to take a quick warm shower. Watched water never boils you know!
After the invigorating shower (and smelling great from my old spice) I settled down in my soft plush chair with two soft boiled eggs, two pieces of buttered whole wheat toast, five strawberries and a tall glass of cold apple juice. Refills were free so I indulged of course. While eating I continued my study of the scriptures from the night before. I was in the middle of looking at sources of joy. Mission service and conversion were common threads as well as repentance and reception of the Holy Ghost. Cross referencing like this is exciting for me and often I can’t pull myself away from it as I find connections between stories and comparisons in teachings. Principles are more profound when I ponder on them this way.
After brushing my teeth I put on my new Nike’s and jogged out to the car. I went and picked up several friends and went to a conference on the effects of endurance running on human physiology. After several hours of intellectual challenge we went to get lunch at Zupa’s. I got a fresh berry nut salad, lobster bisque and an artichoke heart grilled sandwich. Since it was warm we drove with the windows down and music blasting.
After dropping them off I went and changed into running shorts and met up with two other guys. These runners are good friends who I have run with for a long time and we push each other when we run. We started out and after a warm-up went on a six mile run averaging six minute miles the whole time. We got into that groove where everything is just flowing and strong, pacing and pushing with strong legs, pumping and leaning the whole time knowing that you have more in your reserves. Felt powerful.
Next I changed into my basketball shorts I had brought with and went to the weight room. After some intense lifting and putting up a lot of weight I moved down to the basketball court outside. We played basketball for the next hour, skins only. I must admit, my shots don’t miss. It was exciting.
As evening approached I returned home, showered, and dressed for my date with Shawna. After dinner we went on a little hike up a hill to a lookout point where we watched the sunset while sipping on fruit smoothies I had made earlier and kept chilled in a thermos. The blue and rose sky lent to conversation about life and experiences we each had. I enjoyed listening to her speak about her life and share precious feelings. As the light dimmed we made the short descent back to the car and I drove her back to her place. We made plans to go rock climbing the next evening.
After getting back to my apartment I grabbed some snacks and again settled into my overstuffed chair with the scriptures. After losing track of time I put a movie in and relaxed with some hot kettle corn. Finally I knelt beside my bed, asked for protection throughout the night and burrowed myself into the pillow.
A friend of mine made up his “Perfect Day” and suggested we each make our own. Out of all the things you could do for a day what would you do to make it the perfect day? Make your own and send it to me. I will love to hear from each of you what Your Day consists of.