Marriage

Since marriage was originally a religius union, recognized and honored by secular governing bodies I will discuss the issue with faith as the background. I will also expound upon some of the social and familial cirumstances that this subject has effect. Although I have cited some factual sources for statistics and quotes some of the outlined material can be found in a news release on lds.org. I belive that in a logical discussion marriage must remain defined as it has traditionally.

Marriage is sacred, ordained of God from before the foundation of the world. After creating Adam and Eve, the Lord God pronounced them husband and wife, of which Adam said, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24) Jesus Christ cited Adam’s declaration when he affirmed the divine origins of the marriage covenant: “Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh.” (Matt 19: 4-6)

Marriage between a man and a woman is central to God's plan for us. The sacred nature of marriage is closely linked to the power of procreation. Only a man and a woman together have the natural biological capacity to conceive children. This power of procreation – to create life and bring children into the world – is sacred and precious. Misuse of this power undermines the institution of the family and thereby weakens the social fabric. (Ballard) Strong families serve as the fundamental institution for passing on to future generations the moral strengths, traditions, and values that sustain civilization. As the Universal Declaration of Human Rights affirms, “The family is the natural and fundamental group unit of society.”(United Nations, “Universal Declaration of Human Rights,” General Assembly Resolution 217 A (III), 10 December 1948)

Our modern era has seen the degredation of traditional marriage and family – defined as a husband and wife with children in an intact marriage. Sexual morality has declined and infidelity has increased. Since 1960, the proportion of children born out of wedlock has soared from 5.3 percent to 38.5 percent (2006). (National Vital Statistics Report) Divorce has become much more common and accepted, with the United States having one of the highest divorce rates in the world. Since 1973, abortion has taken the lives of over 45 million innocents.(Alan Guttmacher Institute) At the same time, entertainment standards continue to plummet, and pornography has become a scourge afflicting and addicting many victims. Gender differences increasingly are dismissed as trivial, irrelevant, or transient, thus undermining God’s purpose in creating both men and women. Gender is one of the most important characteristics that is given to us from birth and must be cherished as such. It is ignorance to disregard and belittle the gifts of uniqueness that gender bestows upon mankind and harmful.

Those who favor homosexual marriage contend that “tolerance” demands that they be given the same right to marry as heterosexual couples. But this appeal for “tolerance” advocates a very different meaning and outcome than that word has meant throughout most of American history. The Savior taught a much higher concept, that of love. “Love thy neighbor,” He admonished.(Matt 19:19) Jesus loved the sinner even while decrying the sin, as evidenced in the case of the woman taken in adultery: treating her kindly, but exhorting her to “sin no more.” (John 8:11) Tolerance as a principle means love and forgiveness of one another, not “tolerating” transgression. Any other definition is manipulation of terminology that is easily used to imbue guilt and emotional responses.

As I look out the window of the library where I am typing I see the mountains and it lends to thinking that just because the mountains stand majestic and dignified as defining characteristics they do not take away from the lakes which lie at their feet. The lake cannot and should not force the mountain to become like the lake and vica versa. Each can have respect for what they are individually but cannot be made the same. Draw the analagy yourself.

In today’s secular world, the idea of tolerance has come to mean something entirely different. Instead of love, it has come to mean condone – acceptance of wrongful behavior as the price of friendship. We can love and care for one another without condoning transgression. But today’s politically palatable definition insists that unless one accepts the sin he does not tolerate the sinner.

"Tolerance obviously requires a non-contentious manner of relating toward one another’s differences. But tolerance does not require abandoning one’s standards or one’s opinions on political or public policy choices. Tolerance is a way of reacting to diversity, not a command to insulate it from examination."(Oaks)

I do not condone abusive treatment of others or encourage anything but treating all people with respect. However, speaking out against practices with which I disagree on moral grounds – including same-sex marriage – does not constitute abuse or the frequently misused term “hate speech.” All of us can express genuine love and friendship for the homosexual family member or friend without accepting the practice of homosexuality or any re-definition of marriage.

Legalizing same-sex marriage will affect a wide spectrum of government activities and policies that are largely unmentioned and unknown to the casual observer. It was these types of realities that solidified my understanding for the need of defining marriage. I am open and welcome to different lifestyles but the implications upon society is unacceptable when encroaching upon the institution of marriage.

Once a state government declares that same-sex unions are a civil right, those governments almost certainly will enforce a wide variety of other policies intended to ensure that there is no discrimination against same-sex couples. This may well place “church and state on a collision course.” (Gallagher, 2006)

The prospect of same-sex marriage has already spawned legal collisions with the rights of free speech and of action based on religious beliefs. For example, advocates and government officials in certain states already are challenging the long-held right of religious adoption agencies to follow their religious beliefs and only place children in homes with both a mother and a father. As a result, Catholic Charities in Boston has stopped offering adoption services.

Other advocates of same-sex marriage are suggesting that tax exemptions and benefits be withdrawn from any religious organization that does not embrace same-sex unions. (Turley, 2008) Public accommodation laws are already being used as leverage in an attempt to force religious organizations to allow marriage celebrations or receptions in religious facilities that are otherwise open to the public. Accrediting organizations in some instances are asserting pressure on religious schools and universities to provide married housing for same-sex couples. Student religious organizations are being told by some universities that they may lose their campus recognition and benefits if they exclude same-sex couples from club membership.(Stern 2006)
If same-sex marriage becomes a recognized civil right, there will be substantial conflicts with religious freedom. And in some important areas, religious freedom may be diminished to say nothing of the implications upon education of children and the society as a whole. When they say they are being discriminated against the solution cannot be one which forces this kind of acceptance into religion, school and very effectively into homes. Religious and societal freedom must be protected in the solution to this problem. Encroachment into these realms hold much more danger to the nation and personal liberty than currently in existence.

As just one example of how children will be adversely affected, the establishment of same-sex marriage as a civil right will inevitably require mandatory changes in school curricula. When the state says that same-sex unions are equivalent to heterosexual marriages, the curriculum of public schools will have to support this claim. Beginning in elementary school, children will be taught that marriage can be defined as a relation between any two adults and that consensual sexual relations are morally neutral. Classroom instruction on sex education in secondary schools can be expected to equate homosexual intimacy with heterosexual relations. This will have a destructive influence to the gender discussion earlier. These developments will also create serious clashes between the agenda of the secular school system and the right of parents to teach their children traditional standards of morality.

Strong, stable families, headed by a father and mother, are the anchor of civilized society. When marriage is undermined by gender confusion and by distortions of its God-given meaning, the rising generation of children and youth will find it increasingly difficult to develop their natural identity as a man or a woman. Some will find it more difficult to engage in wholesome courtships, form stable marriages, and raise yet another generation imbued with moral strength and purpose.

Yes to Proposition 8

The heat is up on the vote in California for Proposition 8 which would reestablish the traditional organization of marriage as between husband and wife. After long thought I throw my towel in support of the proposition as much as a non-cali resident can. Over the next several days I will blog about the subject and give my reasoning which clearly will explain why this document is really the right thing to pass.
Marriage is between a man and a woman. We must support this priceless organization at all costs as the foundation of a stable society. It is a sacred union that was created and defined by God himself.
Such a stance is not discriminatory or harsh. It does not take away rights from anyone or deny anyone of their right to choose. It does neither of these things the same as calling an apple an apple does not take the right of an orange to be an orange. Although there has been a steady degredation of the union of marriage over the last several decades we cannot permit clever words and manipulative arguments alter what is true. Marriage is between a man and a woman.

Dating

Dating has been on my mind lately so I decided to share a paper I once wrote, simply because it is from the heart. Dating has brought many fun and scary experiences hopefully on the path to marriage. I hope you enjoy these thoughts:

“So have a good night.” I said to her as I left her at her apartment door. I walked away in amazement. What a waste of three hours of my life. Not only had my brother set me up with one of the most immature girls I ever met, but halfway through dinner while talking away, she paused, looked up and started gnashing her teeth in the air! As I looked at her, incredulous with wonder at these unprovoked antics over the dinner table, she stopped, giggled and said “I’m so silly!” I seriously considered discussing with her at that point the difference between silly and shockingly disturbing but decided it would only prolong this everlastingly long date. Why do I subject myself to this over and over? It seems that these aimless searches in the dark for a kindred spirit who can hold a meaningful lasting interest for me are only speeding my loss of faith in the opposite sex. I do have faith in how dating should be. This ideal date does not always occur for various reasons, however, there are things that can help minimize failed dates.
My philosophy on dating has been shaped through many personal experiences and observations of others in their dating pursuits. A date is a time which should be fun, so even if you find you have little interest in your partner, you will still enjoy yourself. This makes all dates something to look forward to. Next a date must be a time where you are interested in learning more about the person you are with. This interest should be sincere and based on an honest admiration for the other person. Lastly a date must be planned appropriately to avoid awkward dead time.
Many times this perfect scenario for a date does not occur. Dates are avoided at times because fear of rejection is a natural response. Avoiding pain may be the most basic of instincts and when seeking a date, vulnerability is germane to the situation. This fear of vulnerability will keep an invitation from ever being extended at all for a date. I know this has influenced my dating choices many times.
Many times people on a date have a preconceived notion of what will impress the other person and this becomes the motivation for the date plan. This usually turns into a tension filled, less fun date for both involved. Regardless of the events, if the plan for a date is poorly assembled the night frequently becomes dragged out and tedious.
The fear of these awkward situations can cause people to avoid dating at all costs. Bad experiences can cause a person to become gun-shy when possibilities for dating come along. It becomes easier to become engrossed in studies, work and family or roommates than face the dating monster.
Other excuses come from the complaint that invitations to date never come. Usually this comes from girls since they are traditionally less involved in dating invitations. I believe strongly that the girls with this problem are usually not placing themselves in situations where they will get asked out. Obviously sitting at home with your roommates behind a closed door watching “Friends” will decrease your interactions with potential courtiers. Those girls who choose to instead go to dances, parties, clubs, church functions and other activities will tend to be asked out more frequently due to their increased interactions with date minded men.
I submit that dating may become pointless to some who are not motivated by marriage. To these people they do not have the perspective to see long term purpose in true dating activities. Men will tend to have this trait with less desire to date. This can cause a discrepancy in what men and women expect in a dating relationship.
While dating we should seek to enjoy the difference in personality and experience of the other. While we are seeking to know if we enjoy the qualities of our date, it must be remembered that it is just a date. Dates are not marriage, kids, retirement, or the job interview. We must not place an overwhelming amount of pressure on one date to determine if we should marry the person. This unnecessary pressure is the cause of many lost friendships and potential relationships.
Dating is a complex and meaningful event. A date can be the highlight or the horror story of our week. We should remember to walk the middle line in our dating activities; not too much pressure, be sincere, be friendly, not too strict a schedule, plan, and most importantly have fun. Doing this makes dating fun and a meaningful time to learn about another person.

Perfect Day

Today I woke up early and knelt gently to offer thanks for the day softly streaming through the window. It was nice to have this moment of peace and receive light from above. Next I walked over to the balcony and stretched in the morning rays and pondered for five minutes on how nature was spread before me. Birds sang, welcoming the new day from their perch in the green broadleaf trees that are the forest behind my apartment. I placed some eggs in water and started them heating on the stove while I went to take a quick warm shower. Watched water never boils you know!
After the invigorating shower (and smelling great from my old spice) I settled down in my soft plush chair with two soft boiled eggs, two pieces of buttered whole wheat toast, five strawberries and a tall glass of cold apple juice. Refills were free so I indulged of course. While eating I continued my study of the scriptures from the night before. I was in the middle of looking at sources of joy. Mission service and conversion were common threads as well as repentance and reception of the Holy Ghost. Cross referencing like this is exciting for me and often I can’t pull myself away from it as I find connections between stories and comparisons in teachings. Principles are more profound when I ponder on them this way.
After brushing my teeth I put on my new Nike’s and jogged out to the car. I went and picked up several friends and went to a conference on the effects of endurance running on human physiology. After several hours of intellectual challenge we went to get lunch at Zupa’s. I got a fresh berry nut salad, lobster bisque and an artichoke heart grilled sandwich. Since it was warm we drove with the windows down and music blasting.
After dropping them off I went and changed into running shorts and met up with two other guys. These runners are good friends who I have run with for a long time and we push each other when we run. We started out and after a warm-up went on a six mile run averaging six minute miles the whole time. We got into that groove where everything is just flowing and strong, pacing and pushing with strong legs, pumping and leaning the whole time knowing that you have more in your reserves. Felt powerful.
Next I changed into my basketball shorts I had brought with and went to the weight room. After some intense lifting and putting up a lot of weight I moved down to the basketball court outside. We played basketball for the next hour, skins only. I must admit, my shots don’t miss. It was exciting.
As evening approached I returned home, showered, and dressed for my date with Shawna. After dinner we went on a little hike up a hill to a lookout point where we watched the sunset while sipping on fruit smoothies I had made earlier and kept chilled in a thermos. The blue and rose sky lent to conversation about life and experiences we each had. I enjoyed listening to her speak about her life and share precious feelings. As the light dimmed we made the short descent back to the car and I drove her back to her place. We made plans to go rock climbing the next evening.
After getting back to my apartment I grabbed some snacks and again settled into my overstuffed chair with the scriptures. After losing track of time I put a movie in and relaxed with some hot kettle corn. Finally I knelt beside my bed, asked for protection throughout the night and burrowed myself into the pillow.
A friend of mine made up his “Perfect Day” and suggested we each make our own. Out of all the things you could do for a day what would you do to make it the perfect day? Make your own and send it to me. I will love to hear from each of you what Your Day consists of.

I am almost back to Utah now, been driving for about seven hours. Road trips refresh me, and stiffen my muscles. We just got out and got gas (paid for it too) and felt the last hours on my body. I am looking out the car window at the flat grassy Idaho landscape as it spreads off towards the mountains in the distance where the blue and rosy sky meets now at sunset. Behind us the angry red sun submits to the horizon setting light around which is easier on the eye. Soft.
We are making this trip to go run the Wasatch Back; a 178 mile relay race which begins in Logan and extends down to Heber before returning to Park City. It is the most beautiful race I have participated in. Twelve runners, thirty six legs, three per person, one long and short night of running. Last year there were about 300 teams and we placed fourth. Teams are started throughout the day with slower teams starting early in the morning and faster throughout the day until 5:00pm. We start then.
It is exciting to start with the fastest teams. BYU has a rockin team and there will be several others with us. I would like us to place third, we can do it. Running all night makes several things. First it makes you very tired, exhaustion after the race when your drained adrenalin levels are finally able to recover is overwhelming. I have yet to be able to stay awake on the drive back to Provo. Don’t worry, I haven’t been driving.
Second is team dynamic. Struggling and suffering together, cheering and supporting each other brings the teams together as friends never forgotten. The runners know the pain mutually felt and share in it. Unity becomes the team.
Third is appreciation for the surroundings. The hills that kill a runner give way to great horizons. Lakes, streams and rivers look beautiful while running. The term breathtaking must have been coined by a guy who had just run up a mountain and seriously was out of breath.
Other than that I have only to tell briefly of highlights from recent. I got the cops called on me. The policeman’s birthday was only one day after mine. I went to the temple several times last week. I have decided I want to get married. Sealings are wonderful and marvelous to witness and participate. I feel like I just ran up a mountain every time. More about that next time. I am getting better at my door approach. I made potato kale soup last night. No one died.
The sky is dark now with only a faint glow behind us. As we run away from the light I will leave with a final thought. Peace must be what we fight for in our homes and hearts, not just overseas.

Birthdays, New Job, Car and Restoration

It has been some time since my near death hike and I wrote last. I compare the gap in writing to thinking before speaking; I am not sure I will be successful but my experiences lately have required some processing before I judge them with a knee jerk reaction. That would be rash.
I made the trip up to Washington, Renton specifically (a suburb of Seattle) for a new job. It was a thirteen and a half hour drive I made in just under twelve; must’ve taken some shortcuts. I enjoy long distance trips, gives me some time to ponder and gain perspective, and eat lots of junk food; twizzlers are especially good. The time passed quickly. I was driving my new Honda Accord 6-cylinder. Not a bad car, not as fun as my Grand Prix GTP that my brother had already driven up to Washington, definitely gets better gas mileage though.
Our apartment here is comfortable, modern, white and sufficient for what we need. The company furnished it with some beds and some furniture. Not extravagant but adequate. It is a three bedroom two bath on the second story backed up to the green broad-leafed trees of the small wooded area behind the complex. It is nice to sit out on the mini-deck and eat a bowl of cereal while enjoying nature, birds sing, a rabbit comes out occasionally, and squirrels chase each other. As I grow I learn to appreciate nature more and more. There is a music all its own outdoors. Truly beauty is patterned after mother nature’s creations.
They say that nothing would happen if it weren’t for sales. I agree. I also would add that parallel logic would be that nothing that’s worth it comes easily. Selling is an art that I have not had to do before. Mission I never saw as selling because I knew what I was sharing was true and necessary. Sales is different because even if you have a product that is the best for what it does, and you can offer it at a discount to the customer, it still does not compare to the all encompassing importance of the gospel. Rejection is difficult and it changes your perception of how people look at you. Will Smith in The Pursuit of Happyness stated that day in and out he felt “undervalued and underappreciated.” So true. I think I struggle with that especially as I have been working in the Health Care field for the last four years where you care about people you serve so much and can make things right. I also consider myself good at working with people, I enjoy others and like helping. You do that in sales but from an entirely different direction. It has been and continues to stretch me like I didn’t ever expect it to.
I had a birthday on Sunday. We went out to eat at the Cheesecake factory on Saturday night, amazing food. The chicken was the most tender I have ever had and of course the cheesecake… I woke up Sunday morning and opened the door to my room and almost tripped over a big thirty pound bag of gummy bears and worms. My brother got me some presents for my birthday, the best of which was enough gummy candy to last at least two weeks. Ha, those who know me know that gummies make everything alright. I love my brother.
A good friend of mine who I have done many things with is going to be able to go to the temple again. The bishop said that the sacrament was good several months ago and now it looks like the blessings of the temple will be restored again. My feelings are deep and rich as I ponder on the paths that lead us back to God and his way. He is everlastingly there with his hand outstretched and His joy when one of his children returns is bountiful. It takes effort, steady, concerted, focused and paced to follow the steps back to His presence. I have great respect and love for those who stand up and face their weaknesses head on. The holiest war to wage is a war against a man’s own imperfections. It draws the attention of heaven and I am sure heavenly choirs rejoice to see the man struggling in the sweat, dust and tears of his failing, get up and fight against all opposition to become a more perfect person. It increases my faith in mankind to see this greatness of spirit to raise up and become more; to strive to become more holy and a higher being than before. Elevating himself while all the weight of the world pulls toward commonality. As long as we have people willing to strive to such greatness all is well in Zion.

Death and Vision in a Hike

I ran my Mom into the ground as I grew. I often heard her yell (and justifiably so) "get down from there; don't eat that; don't stick that knife near your eye, or your brother's; get away from the edge, you're going to die; down out of that tree, you'll fall; stop running." Well I have never understood her fears until yesterday.

Last month I made a Summer 2008 adventures list. It has things I want to do such as go to the Grand Canyon, make a video to upload on YouTube, and kiss someone on the top of Squaw Peak. Last year during a hike to the Y a man I met suggested another path which leads around the Y mountain. It is a mere 10 mile hike and is a circumference of the entire mountain, showcasing remote landscape, camping spots and even a drinkable fresh-water spring. This hike made the cut, so at twelve twenty nine in the afternoon I set up the trail to the Y in shorts with four Arby's sandwiches and two full bladders of H2O in my camelback.

I reached the top of the Y approximately twenty two minutes later. After a one minute recovery period I continued up the steep in pursuit of uncharted territory somewhere above and behind. Another thirty minutes passed and I reached the campsite beyond the mountain. My pace had not been blistering but I would say it was a respectible clip and I was proud of the progress I had made. Another five minutes and I was tredging through two feet of snow and several inches of mud.

The next hour consisted of losing the path, blazing a trail through bushes, snow and mud to higher ground. After two hours of demanding hiking I sat on a rocky precipice overlooking the Y (which looked very flat from my vantage point) and all the outlying communities eating several Arby's Melts. I was satisfied, and tired.

It had been a strenuous hike and my mind was already weighed with the voice of the Eagle Scout within saying hiking alone, off the path, in uncharted territory was a bad and dangerous idea. What if I slipped on a muddy snow covered patch and hit my head on one of the jagged rock patches. Before leaving my apartment I had told my roomate where I would be going and that he was the only one who would know, joking that if I never came back...he would know where to send the search team. I had to be extra careful for the risks I was taking.

One thing I was not willing to do was to go back the way I came, how boring, and defeating. As I looked down from my perch I considered finding a descent straight down, I could see my car. After thirty seconds of trying this method I discarded the idea. The hundred foot cliffs were not as forgiving as I thought they could be. The only logical (and masculine) conclusion was continue on the back side of the mountain and head for Rock Canyon, the canyon the path would have met with if I were still on it.

I trekked up and over the summit the mountain, back into the snow and across the side of the mountain. The mud and snow and bushes were annoying and presented with slippery footing most of the way. Once I reached a clearing I could see the drop-off towards Rock Canyon ahead. As I looked over the precipice I realized my situation.

I looked down at over 3500 feet descent largely covered in snow, the expanse winding down toward the base lost to sight by many obstacles, twists and turns. My heart beat faster. There was no way I was going back since I had hiked so far already. Going ahead looked like it could be suicidal and I knew once I started down there was absolutely no turning back. I started down.

Cliffs on either side I chose the most gradual entry point which required scaling a ten foot rock face, then another, then another. With ropes, a buddy, and dry ground it may have been a challenging, tricky, focused climb. Now, two feet of snow covered slippery crumbling rocks which broke through with almost every step since runoff had created hollow spaces. Soft snow was slippery and mud more. Realistically the average grade was probably about 35%; almost straight down. All this combined with being alone, I knew my Mom would kill me.

I took each obstacle slowly and methodically, knowing that the slightest slip could leave me with at the least broken bones and at the most, worse. Slipping many times I used tree branches, fingertips full of rock, and twigs to balance and control each step. Caution was my only thought.

Well that is not exactly true. For the last hour, since coming to the edge of the precipice, I had begun praying, and not always silently. I called on the Lord to protect me as I made each advance to the next rocky promontory and obstacle. I wish I could more accurately paint the picture of how much in need of help I was at each and every step of my journey down this ravine. My prayers often came in the form of hymns (the only reason it was good I was alone) which I could feel reached to heaven with each verse. They also came as verbal gasps as I strained to hold on and maintain a toehold. Thus was my situation.

After some time I came to what looked like a very wide (about 100 yard wide and 150 foot long) half pipe with snow covering the ground. After how hard I had been working I was ready for a break. I thought "If Bear can do it on Man vs Wild why the heck not" I sat down and began sliding down the mountain in my shorts, diggin in my heels to slow and using my frozen hands to guide. It was a moment of fun.

As I flew down this snow highway I saw it drop off ahead. I dug in to stop and delicately worked my way over to the side. Grasping the only tree I leaned over and saw that there was a twenty five foot drop down. Instead of my Mother's admonitions in my head, at this point I thought how if I had to call my roomate to get help because I was lying broken at the bottom of a precipice I was going to be so ticked off.

Looking to my right flat cliffs rose for several hundred feet and extended for longer than I could see. Above me I had a steep slippery snow filled funnel with one sled mark down the middle, not possible to climb. Off to the left as I leaned out I could see a possibility for more gradual descent about one hundred fifty yards across a ledge. The biggest problem was that thick snow lined all but the very edge of the cliff, making the 'path' more dangerous then it already was.

As I planned my strategy looking from branch to craig to tree I also considered the potential fall. Thin snow covered jagged rocks below the sharp and slippery cliff that I would be scaling. Every muscle in my body, already tired from hours of rigorous and tense work became taut with anticipation of the demands about to placed on them. There would be no room for mistakes, slips would be met with immediate consequences.

I began, working as before, reaching branch to twig. Stamping down snow to reveal the gaping of rocks below. It took forty five minutes to move the one hundred yard to the decision point. I reached stable footing hugging a tree from which I had to choose to go down and hope that it was the correct descent point or work up and further across the mountain. Either way I could not see which way would lead safely down. Once I made a decision I would be committed and could not go back due to the deep snow and steep elevation. I said a prayer asking which way I should go. I looke up, down, up, down and felt good about going down. This was one of the many times my prayers were answered granting me safety.

I worked my way down a checker board of trees, drops, and rocks until, finally, I was on a clearing of snow. Although steep it was more inviting than it should. I stopped to rest on a flat-topped rock and get some feeling back into my fingers and give my legs some time to stop shaking. I knelt (figuratively since I had cuts on both knees from slamming into rock as I stopped my fall several times) feeling closer to heaven, now halfway down, than at the top of the mountain.

The rest of the way down consisted of sliding down four hundred feet of snow, climbing several more ledges and other obstacles. As I stepped onto the groomed path at the bottom of Rock Canyon I let out another shout of joy, feeling success, gratitude, relief and pain. The remaining several miles walk out of the canyon and across the front of Y mountain was a humbled champions march. Just under five hours after starting I finished and drove away.

So I made it out, without becoming one of the statistics. Profound meanings flood my mind as I recall the experience. Draw from it what you will. I know I was watched over, preserved, after all I could do. I live to have other adventures where I draw closer to heaven. Isn't that what life is about.

Clarity and Value

I am writing this while sitting in the Emergency Room at 4:37 a.m. with my brother on the bed asleep next to me. He has had a rough night.
I will not disclose his medical information for his own privacy. I will, however, share my own re-awakening on things of value, at least as much as is fluent at this time in the morning when most thoughts are groggy ones. Not so true this morning however.
As I have worked with my brother tonight I felt that little tingle of panic that must affect all families who have a sick loved one. Since I work in Behavioral Medicine I am well aquainted with the distinct pains which are felt by those families with mental illness near. I have put myself in their situations and been blessed to imagine how they feel.
As I watched over my brother I was given a glimpse into how I would feel if he never was able to get better. If there were long lasting effects of any nature, our lives... yes, more specifically, my life, would be altered forever. The whole meaning and purpose of what I want to do will have been changed immediately. Suddenly my life experiences make more sense in preparing me for this path. Thankfully this is only a hypothetical, for now.
Is there anything I wouldn't do for my brother? No. Death is the only thing which would have the force necessary to keep me from being there, and that isn't for another 200 years I think. Such is my present circumstance.
As I stood and paced after my brother finally fell asleep (medically assisted) I gazed down and realized just how insignificant issues that were on my mind mere hours before seemed in comparison. This here is real. No one can deny this matters. Girls who don't know how to have fun or trust, money difficulties, career dissapointments, personal frustrations are just some of the concerns which were, moments ago, slammed into perspective. I cannot see how people can choose to ignore the problems and troubles of life as if they were figments of imagination. Such individuals truly miss moments of understanding such as this.
God loves us. The only thing which should exceed our love for family is our love for God. We are truly in His hands, His wise hands. Truly He knows our needs, feels our sorrow, and loves us more. Even as my brother sleeps this moment, his head by my hand, I know and feel that the Savior is closer yet. He enters and knows our hearts, feels our longings, and is patient with our progress. Although he knows our weakness he still loves us. This is profound to me. I see the hand of the Lord in my life at this moment. Whatever comes in the future I take peace in knowing that He is here now.

Basketball vs Life

For those of you who know me, I am winning my group with my tournament bracket. For those of you who don't, let's just say that I like basketball. There is no game with quite the same intensity or excitement. Even with BYU gone, the filling of the bracket infuses interest and motivation into even the least involved individual to minimally keep track of the winners and losers. Elation and chagrin are crochetted together during this dramatic series of games as Cinderellas emerge and winners become losers. Why didn't I know each upset? Dang Davidson!
I love the underdog, the one who is slated, predicted, and expected to lose. They are going up against a stonger team, overwhelming odds, not a chance. Even when all the world shows up to chant 'aiiirballl' and 'right, left, right, left'. These 'weak links' still step onto the court and usually offer their all. When the coach has given his speech, superstitous symbols touched, and silent prayers uttered, the players in the game go under the bright lights believing they can win. Some make it happen.
As we step out onto the court how well do we prepare ourselves? Failure is too often the expected and even planned outcome. Imagined crowds darken the surroundings and even the air seems to press against our chest, and yet we do nothing to alter this perception. Postive quotes are dismissed as trivial, scripture study is ignored, and the task becomes even heavier. Winning is impossibe for we are the underdogs; the ones who have been projected as the losers; expectations are for defeat. Why even try.
The truth of the matter is that while we are all truly underdogs the odds are not really against us. You can live the impossible dream or an excuse, it's up to you. Man does not lack strength, only determination. We have the strength to overcome and win against any team of opponenets. Whether it is education and career, debt, love or sin we are never really lost. We can succeed, and greatly so, if we simply do the things which give us that inner determination characteristic of Cinderella teams who make me lose points on my bracket every year. Pray, ponder, search the scriptures, seek personal revelation, and cheer for BYU. It all is so simple yet so vital in this great tournament. Just do it.

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause, who at best knows achievement and who at the worst if he fails at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat. TDR

Do Not Fear

Today I took some patients at work to court. It is always interesting to interact with and observe people with challenges and different backgrounds. Relationships of trust are built from the smallest of seeds, odd at times. I saw a man there who I have known for some time. He was enveloped in his own thoughts until he saw me and a large grin wiped across his face, childlike almost. Familiarity seems to be one of the basic foundations of trust. Although we may have little experience with an individual their memorable features, curvature of the face, slant and color of the eyes, all very unique from one person to the next, open up the floodgates of relief and friendship in our mind. Very human.

I am a subscriber to the motto and belief that the one thing that a man can never have is too many friends. The richest man is one who has the most friends, and yet look around us. How often do people look down when they walk, avoid eye contact with even aquantainces, silence the buzzing of their cell phones when they just don't feel like talking, or look at the one person who does say "Hello!" like they must be from that mental hospital down the road. I am guilty of these at times myself. Is it most like mankind to unwittingly manipulate himself into isolation?

Fear is the most common reason for this reclusive behavior normal in today's world. It is unfortunate for fear is not a godly attribute. Yet we allow it to rage unchecked through our subconcious (and sometimes concious) persona, governing our thoghts, decisions and even motives. I feel myself wanting to shout to everyone, and myself, stand up! Do not droop in fear, instead lift up your heart and rejoice for the day is yet. Live in faith. Live life for the moment, do not fear for all will be all right in the end. I like a quote I saw that reflects this ideology: 'All will turn out right in the end, if things aren't all right now don't worry, it's not the end"

Purpose

I have been working a lot the last two days. Two 12 hour graveyard shifts...don't leave a ton of time for other things. Additinally it seems like you are perpetually tired when you wake up. Not that this is any new thing for me. All through the last three years of college I worked at least 24 hours a week in addition to heavy school schedule, hours of cancer research and a part time job in running. Let not even mention church callings. It's a wonderful life.
As I was working yesterday I saw more fully how there is a plan for each of us. Not everything has gone perfectly, I haven't gotten into medical school quickly, grades never accurately depict capability, and I have not always made the best choices. However I find that there is a feeling I can't deny that there is someone who knows all this and has prepared for it. Someone who knows the mistakes and fallies I may make, and has a way to make them all work for my good.
I truly believe that everything has a reason. Perhaps I will see the purpose for this extra year later. I would like to think it would be for a girl but who knows now. Martin Harris lost the pages from the first bit of the translation. It was a catastrophy, devastating. That great work was lost forever. Yet there was prepared a way for the same instruction to be given, later in the book. The Lord knew that human weakness would provide for the loss and he made the difference.
If we can look at our own life with that same faith and perspective we will better understand our direction. Happiness after all comes from being at peace with your purpose and direction. Once we see how our direction is bringing us to our purpose, peace comes. It is not through tv or music or money but through understanding this and seeing His hand in our life that we can gain this perspective. I can see mine when I stop to truly reflect, can you?

Welcome

I have finally done what many have and others yet undoubtedly will. I am pleased with my vision for sharing thoughts about life and how it has and will yet shape my perspectives, attitudes and feelings. I do not claim to be victim to circumstance or even to influence but an educated mind is compelled to relinquish that we are all touched by experience and moved by interactions. I will share things through this blog which will at times be deep and personal and at others undoubtedly, although unfortunately, more common, the shallow and less formal. I hope you will read this with an open mind and willingness to understand how powerfully I feel about those things most precious to my heart. I also invite you to a discussion about the more academic subjects I may speak on. I promise they will be thought provoking and at the very least, interesting.
In this age of rapid technological advance I am often caught up into the fascination with electronics and digital multimedia, which captivates us into a sometimes less-than-real view of life. From ‘Rock of Love’ to text messaging I feel myself being a victim of the electronic gods, the pull is strong and incessant as these useful tools provide convenient distractions from the more human things in life. Pain… sorrow… spirituality and love are things which are easier to be overlooked in the glittering world of the modern age. Perhaps they are better left in the past so we can more fully accept the future. Yet as I see the incidence of mental illness, depression, and familial failure increase I am led to wonder of the values and simplicity of a ‘Little House’ type of life are, after all, the most needed.
I hope you will visit often as I post updates (now daily), and involve yourself in my discussions. I welcome responses and hope they will encourage more contemplation. Again, welcome. DBM